This past week, our church (myself, another staff and
member of our Board of Directors) wrestled with a request for money from
someone. Requests for money are not
uncommon. In today's economy, many
people have less yet their bills remain the same (or go up even more). As a church, we've been faithful to do as
much as we can...with what we can.
The request for money this past week was not an enormous
amount. In fact, the person/people
requesting the money "promised" to repay it all. They even came to us with half the total
amount the service they needed would cost.
And they had a plan to pay off the remaining amount!
"So what is the hesitation?" you may be
asking.
Here's why we wrestled:
We wrestled with the request because the people asking us
have a long history of making the poor choices that got them into the situation
they were in, which led to the need to make the request to us as a church. This was the first time they had approached
us for financial assistance, but this wasn't the first time we had helped
them. And it wasn't the first time they
had found themselves in this specific situation.
Listening to the conversation taking place in the church
and over the phone, I found myself wondering what price we are willing to pay
to continue to have a voice into people's lives. Ultimately, if we said yes, I felt like we'd
be earning the right to speak truth into the lives of those involved.
But our history with helping in the past, both with them
and others in similar situations, has been not good. Once aid had been given, we've found those
requiring help, most often disappear.
What would make this time any different?
Is there a specific dollar amount we should be willing to pay out?
What price, as Christians, are we willing to pay for
someone?
Are we willing to pay for a cup of coffee? Are we willing to take someone out to lunch? How many times would we do that (with the
cost of Starbucks these days!!) before simply saying "Enough!"; especially
if the behaviors and patterns we're hoping to see transform never change! Is
coffee or a meal as far as we'd go?
Would we be willing to put a small amount towards
someone's unpaid utilities bill? Or what
about paying the whole amount?! Should
we cover a mortgage payment for the single mom in between jobs, even if this
"changing jobs" happens quite often?!
If we do, would we (should we) request repayment? Would helping out in bigger amounts
"earn" us more opportunity to speak truth and, thus, increase the
potential for change? I don't know.
How much is enough?
How much is too much?
We're living in a time when we realize we need to be
prudent with the money people tithe to the church. There is less money coming in, which means
there is less money able to go out. God
wants us to steward our resources well.
I know this. Are we being good
stewards by giving money to those that may be higher risk?
Are our resources only financial? Maybe what those who come asking for money
really need is something more. Yes, they
need the financial help, but perhaps something deeper is needed as well.
Maybe the actual dollar amount shouldn't matter when
asking how much we are willing to pay.
Maybe the real question is "Will we pay the price in the
relationships?" If we help, are we
willing to follow up—more than once or twice!?!!
Relationships are messy.
People are messy. They take time. People often take much and give little
in return. Let's be honest, the time and
energy we spend investing in relationships often does not seem worth it. We don’t see visible signs of change or
growth. We personally do not gain
anything. And many times, the people we
pour our lives into fall right back into old life patterns and/or cycles.
Is it worth it?
How much is worth it?
When we give money with the "promise" it'll be
repaid, it is a risk. When we invest in
people, it is a risk. Are we willing to
risk paying the price in relationships with messy people with very uncertain
returns? What price are we willing to
pay?
pastor j.
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